This is the last post on this blog for the year. I’m finding the “Best of” lists exhausting this year, so I’m not bothering with my own.
What I am working on is a year-end assessment (as part of my Goals, Dreams, and Resolutions). What worked this year? What didn’t? Where did I fall short? What did I choose to give up because it no longer worked?
From there, I can make adjustments. We all have things we think we want, but as we get closer to them, we find we don’t, or other bits of our lives have shifted, and it no longer makes sense. There’s nothing wrong with that. Realize it, and make adjustments. Change the plan.
You don’t have to stick to a plan that’s no longer working simply because you put time into it in the first place.
With your new knowledge, decide where you want to go from here. Make a plan.
Realize it’s a roadmap, not a prison. You’re allowed to change it any time you want.
I am an advocate of New Year’s Resolutions. I think it’s important to set the bar and then meet it and exceed it for yourself. You don’t get a prize just for showing up. You roll up your sleeves and put in the work.
When people whine about them, about not keeping them, it’s usually because they make resolutions that they feel they SHOULD make instead of something relevant to their lives.
Many of the ones who get huffy about New Year’s resolutions (especially creatives) are people who, when you look at their work over the past year, haven’t done all that much. They don’t want it enough, aren’t willing to make the compromises/put in the work necessary to achieve it, lack the time management skills, and, most importantly, the will to get it done.
We’re all juggling difficult lives and often multiple jobs and childcare or elder care or a million other things. We have to make choices along the way that will get us closer to our goals, and get us OUT of living in crisis mode every day.
There’s nothing wrong with getting help to find a way out of that spiral. If you’re in a self-defeating pattern, do your research and find someone who can help you break it. Be it a therapist or some sort of coach or some other professional. That’s a positive step, not a negative one.
There are other people who don’t make New Year’s Resolutions without denigrating those who do. These people are out and about, creating the lives they want. They don’t need to make New Year’s Resolutions because, to them, every day is the opportunity for a fresh slate, and they are determined to do something positive.
They smile and nod and wish us well on our resolutions, while taking the actions necessary to make their own lives better on every level — which, in turn, often betters the lives of those around them.
So take some time amidst the holiday insanity. Think about what you want and what you need (which aren’t always the same thing).
Break down some manageable steps that get you closer to the life you want.
And take every opportunity, every day, to do something kind or beautiful or unusual, which will also feed into building the life you want.
Have a lovely holiday, and I’ll see you on the other side of it!